Fearless love
by LucyfromSK
Summary: I have finally realized about love. Told from Hiei's point of view. This is shounen-ai, don't like, don't read.


_Greetings!_

_Here is a story presenting an idea for everyone to think deeply about things and their consequences._

_It is a Hiei&Kurama yaoi, don't like, don't read._

_Sit back, open your mind and enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, nor any of it's characters. _

_... as if it bothered me..._

**

* * *

**

**FEARLESS LOVE**

**  
**

_- We fear the thing we want the most._

_Robert Anthony_

From the first time I took an inhale of air into my lungs, I was blinded. There's no regretting the thing now, though. Not a single curse, not a single pinch of anger. Instead, I am saturated with the feeling of gratefulness.

To everyone who has ever helped me.

To everyone who has ever been at my side.

To everyone who has ever taught me an important lesson.

To everyone who has ever treated me as a living being.

To everyone who has ever known my name.

To my mother Hina for bearing me.

To my sister Yukina for proving me the existence of unselfishness.

To Yusuke for providing me a different point of view.

To that idiot Kuwabara for being the idiot he is.

To you, my love. To you, Kurama.

Silence has always been a companion of mine that allowed me to listen to my inner voice. However, for the majority of my life, I had been muffling the adviser harshly. My fear imprisoned me and prevented me from changing the route long ago.

But again, I have no regrets. Because it is now, it is the present which I can handle. Because now I recognize its value. Now I know it's an inexhaustible fountain of the truth. It's the one I am listening to even now, as I am lying in the bed, in an empty house, making love to Kurama. Even though I haven't been shown much care in my lifetime, I am aware of how to respond to each one of Kurama's move. Before I couldn't even stand an idea of someone approaching me that closely. Too close meant too dangerous. Too foolish. Too painful...

But there came the tide and washed it all away.

Aah..

My darling...

Your hot lips over my skin glistening with sweat...

Your soft hands sending shivers all over my body...

Your beautiful hair falling down your shoulders...

Your low-pitched moans setting the core of mine on fire...

The smell of your skin taking me into the paradise...

Your slow, deliberate moves exciting each cell of my body...

It's all so delightful. It's a symphony. It's all I want to tell you right now.

Alas.. . everything I am able to do right now to send the message across is a single scream of your name...

'KURAMA!'

And you understand. You pull yourself a bit away and look into my eyes. Both of us are breathing heavily. Both of us are trembling. Both of us are feeling the urge.

But that's all in the backround as we are looking into each other's eyes. There is no need for words. We are reading each other's intentions and desires as if in an open book.

Kurama, I'm ready.

Hiei, it's a pleasure.

Kurama, I trust you.

Hiei, I'll be gentle.

Kurama, I love you.

Hiei, I love you.

You are soothing me with small pecks on my face as you are entering my body. The action feels uncomfortable, I don't deny that. Still, no complaints stemming from my mouth are bothering you. There aren't any formed. This pain isn't associated with hurt.

Emotional pain... and hurt... and suffering...

All my life I have been trying to evade them, trying not to let it come into heart. When I was born, my soul was shocked by all the cruelty exerted on my mother. The tears she was shedding, the shivering of her body, the sad look of her face, the heart-breaking screams of her maternal emotions... That has all imprinted on my mentality.

To protect myself, to become strong, to become invulnerable, I covered it all with a thick layer of anger, aggression, coldness and indiference. The only purpose of my life was a revenge.

Or that's what I thought, that's what my fear dictated me. But as I finally reached my lifelong destination, as I arrived to the Koorime island, the atmosphere of my birthplace changed it all. Of course, the women looked like petrified imitations of life. I was disgusted with them. The narrow crack in my protective barrier caused by the overwhelming aura of the place resonating with my own one gave me the sense of origin. Since than and with the knowledge of having a sister I have been progressively diverting from my previous course to follow another one.

Oh, my...

Kurama...

You are the one who has played a major role in leading me away from a misleading track. You also have found the treasure in care and affection. Your love towards your human mother made me confused at the beging. As my fear was still alive and quite potent, I disregarded your feelings a lot. And also the feelings of Yusuke towards Keiko. This together with my immense impulse to protect Yukina from each manifestation of evil has slowly been melting the wall around my heart and mastering my fear. The fight with Mukuro signified the utmost step. She was the one who understood and brought me back into my life even after me expressing a strong determination to die.

I guess it all had to happen. I guess the meaning of things doesn't lie in things themselves but in how we react to them and what we learn from them. And how we comprehend the hints those events and people we meet give us. It was all worth it. All the events made me strong enough, brave enough, experienced enough, tranquil enough to finally be myself, to finally have no need to hide. All the events showed me the meanings of love.

My philosophy at those far away times was to fight for my life, for my survival. But that's what everybody does every day. It's the basis we build up on. It's the springing board, not the target. This way, it's the sane struggle to preserve ourselves so as to climb higher and higher. And as love is lifting, it is the greatest helper. My mother Hina died because of that belief. That's why Imikos are born. Some of them can't get out of their boundaries of aggression and that ends up in their furious eruptions of destroying the lives of others. As they feel the freezing hostility, they try to erase its authors. However, they often end up killing themselves, too. The massive slaughter doesn't bring them any relief, they find the roots of their tension inside and destroy it anyway, just from pure desperation.

But I have come to find the true meaning of the message. The true reason of my mother's death.

That's why I am here now, in the same bed, in thight connection with you, itooshi. Now I know why to risk for others. Now I know where the power comes from.

Kurama...

I love you so much...

I might be hurt for that...

You might be hurt for that...

But that doesn't matter...

And there's nothing to worry about...

'Cause nothing compares to the liberty only the fearless love can bring about...

* * *

'Hiei?'

'Huh? What is it?' Hiei murmured cosily snuggled to Kurama and at the brim of falling asleep.

'Why do you wear so many belts?'

'What?'

'I mean, do you really need so many belts to hold your pants up? It was a real difficulty putting them off, you know. '

'Baka. Even you cannot have such an easy access to that priceless part of my body.'

'You brute! That makes me feel like a ready-to-serve meal!'

'But YOU were the one who helped me with undressing YOUR trousers!'

'That's because you were so unbearably slow in the process!'

'And that is saying the one who almosted drove me insane by torturing my nipples at the speed of a snail!'

'Yeah, that's right, but I wasn't the one sighing that heatedly about that.'

'Oh, yes, but remember you were rubbing my member at the same time. '

'This leads to nowhere. Will you wear so many belts next time?'

'If I tell you now, you will be deprived of any possible surprise. '

'Surprise? ' Kurama smiled in a devilish way. 'All right, darling. Be prepared.'

_

* * *

_

_Well, hope you liked both parts - the serious and the humorous one._

_Reviews appreciated, constructive criticism welcome._

_Have a nice day (or night)!_


End file.
